The Favourite wins AGAIN. Deborah Davis thanks Bafta for giving her a prize for her first screenplay, which seems like a pretty watertight way to make an enemy of all the world’s unsuccessful screenplay. Or at least it would be, were she not so charming about it all.
Now for original screenplay. Michelle Rodriguez presents, without smiling once. This is what happens when you smile too much on the red carpet. Perhaps that One Direction guy was on to something all along.
A Star is Born wins, and Bradley Cooper accepts. He’s gracious but perfunctory, and seems to have toned down the bizarre tan he had at the Oscars luncheon last week.
Best Music now. Andy Serkis says “A film without music is like Queen without Freddie Mercury or Britain without Europe”. Quuen, of course, continued without Freddie Mercury, which makes this the best insult of the entire night.
BlackKklansman wins! Spike Lee reads all his thank yous from his Blackberry. Either that or he’s really deep into a game of Flappy Birds. It isn’t made particularly clear.
Best adapted screenplay now. In the clips, they play the part of A Star is born where Sam Elliott goes ‘HRRRRRRMMMPH HRRRRM HRRRM HRRRRRMPH”, which is my favourite bit.
Letitia Wright wins! Magnificent. She’s hesitant, talking about her depression and her faith and the importance of Bafta in her life. And she obliquely referenced Thanos, too. This kid’s going places.
So far, about 80% of this broadcast is clips. We’re already a quarter of the way through the show, and most of it has been clips. Which is great for a liveblogger. Lots of opportunities to urinate. I couldn’t be happier.
Regina King and Luke Evans are here to present the Rising Star award. They say nothing of interest, but this is a tremendous nominee list. You’d be happy if any of them won, wouldn’t you?
Weisz is brilliant, isn’t she? She seems genuinely thrilled and touched to win this prize. So thrilled and touched that I can’t think of anything mean to say. I am sorry to let you down so egregiously.
Rachel Weisz wins for The Favourite. This is going to be the Foregone Conclusion Baftas, isn’t it?
Mary J Blige and Ellen Page are here to present the trophy for best supporting actress. They’ve gone for “dictionary definition of the word ‘supporting’, and then some platitudes”. A classic combination.
Melissa McCarthy is here to present Outstanding British film. This is a very strong category (apart from Bohemian Rhapsody), and it’s one of the only places to acknowledge You Were Never Really Here, which definitely isn’t going to win.
BURN! Literally everything Lumley says is met with total deafening, all-encompassing silence. The fact that she hasn’t physically withered up into a pile of sand in the face of such genuinely terrible material makes her 20 times better than any of us. Long may she continue. In life, that is. Not in this monologue – this monologue is causing me pain.
More red hot monologue action now. BURN! Actors often have chauffeurs. BURN! Bradley Cooper has a strong work ethic. BURN! The Favourite is called The Favourite. BURN! The word “mess” rhymes with the word “dress”. BURN! The word “Cannes” rhymes with the word “Klan”.